


The First Goodbye

by Rahenna



Series: Ace of Hearts [9]
Category: Gakuen Heaven 2 ~Double Scramble~
Genre: Goodbyes, M/M, Secret Relationship, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 10:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4957444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahenna/pseuds/Rahenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The magic spell of a first experience is something fragile and easily broken. It's time for Yuki to go home, but he and the professor are both reluctant to part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> No, I can't stop adding extra cheesy bits to things that are already finished...
> 
> Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)
> 
> Originally posted here:  
> [Adults Always Lie](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/lies/)
> 
> If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:  
> [welcome to Heaven](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/)

**Sunday, July 2, 2017**

"Goodbye, Asahina."

He was standing in the hallway, just outside the apartment door, with a wide-eyed expression of sad dissatisfaction. His only response was a small, hesitant sound of assent.

"I'll see you in class," I prompted, stepping back so I could push the door shut.

"I wish we could go back together," he sighed, voice so quiet that I could probably get away with pretending not to hear it. But I couldn't do that to him, especially now, with his emotions so raw.

"I feel the same way, Asahina, but we have to be careful." I peeked my head out, checking for nosy neighbors, but aside from Asahina, the hallway was deserted. "You can text me any time."

"Right," he agreed, eyes downcast.

I knew he wasn't consciously attempting to manipulate me, but that honest reluctance threatened to destroy my resolve. Putting some distance between us was the only safe option. "I'm shutting the door now. Okay, Asahina?"

He nodded, and though he made no move to leave, I closed the door as if he had set off down the hallway. I snapped the lock into place with a sigh of relief and turned back toward the interior of the apartment. There was still work to be done, lesson plans to be finalized and custom homework to be drafted, but as my eyes drifted around in search of my books, my mind was flooded with memories. Instead of seeing the planner and papers on the breakfast table, I saw the place where I'd been sitting, waiting impatiently for Asahina to get up. The couch was where we'd shared our first breakfast, and before that, the first exploration of each other's bodies.

I closed my eyes, but that only made it easier for my mind to insert fragments of memory in the place of rational thought. The smoothness and warmth of Asahina's skin, the heat of his breath in my ear, the press of his fingertips against my back; those remembered sensations made my heart tremble. I forced my eyes open again, but sight couldn't protect me from the thoughts that hovered at the edge of my consciousness as I moved around the apartment, gathering my supplies.

The pile of quiz papers brought his carefree smile to mind, especially the way he'd beamed with pride after getting back the last set of grades. My usual red pen reminded me of the silly pencil he used during tutoring, cute and colorful donuts that must have captivated an imagination that was so fixated on delicious things. Even the cover of my gradebook was a shade of green that resembled his eyes, and I couldn't help thinking of the way those wide, innocent eyes had watched my every move in the bedroom. Curiosity, excitement, nervousness, passion, all of those emotions had played out on his honest face, and those genuine reactions made me remember...

What, exactly? Vague sensations from the past, something so fleeting that the act of trying to remember was enough to make it slip from mind.

No, it was growing clearer the more I considered it. I closed my eyes again, trying to focus. Faint impressions of... something, made obscure by the passing of time. After a moment's struggle, it hit me with the force of a shock. Memories buried out of a sense of guilt, or maybe to protect myself from the fear of never of finding something special again.

My first boyfriend. My first lover. My first time.

It had been a magical experience, not just that first act of passion, but everything that had followed. We'd hidden our relationship from others, and it had been easy enough to pretend that we were merely friends who spent a lot of time studying together; we were both math majors and in many of the same classes. If anyone suspected, they were discreet enough not to say anything and let us carry on in blissful ignorance until the day we were separated by his decision to study abroad. It had taken me all summer to recover from the loss.

But that first time...

We skipped all our classes the following day to spend time together. His kindness and concern had driven away all of my anxiety. Of course I'd wanted it, wanted him, and in the heat of the moment I hadn't cared about anything else, but the reality of morning had brought all my doubts back.

_Did I make a mistake? What if someone finds out? What if my family finds out?_

_Honestly, I'm a little worried too, but... I'm here with you. I won't let anything happen._

I dropped my papers on the table and turned toward the door.

"Asahina..."

I'd forced him to leave, saying it was for his own safety, wanting to protect our relationship. But protecting it from outsiders was meaningless if it meant that the strength of our bond would be compromised.

I grabbed my keys and wallet from the entry table and flung open the door, praying that I would be in time to intercept him. "Asahina...!"

He was still there in the hallway, hands clasped in front of his chest as he stared at the door. His teary expression changed to one of embarrassed shock in an instant. "P, Professor Sakaki! I, I was just about to leave, honest, I just..."

My heart was light with relief. He was still there.

I stretched out one hand, beckoning. "Come back inside, Asahina."

The way his eyes lit up drew a smile to my lips, and he bounced back inside without hesitation, barely able to wait for me to shut the door before flinging his arms around my neck. "I didn't want to go back alone," he half-sniffled into my ear. "I didn't want to leave... if I leave, it's like it's all over, or it didn't happen, and... I'm scared." His grip tightened. "What if this is just a dream? What if I go back to my room, and I'm just regular Yuki again? What if we can't... or you don't want to..."

I hunched forward, caught in his grip. He was heavier than he looked, and my words were a bit strained as I tried to reassure him. "Asahina, that's not going to happen. If you don't believe me, I understand, I hardly deserve your trust. But I'm not lying when I say you're special to me."

"Special..." Asahina breathed the word as if it was a prayer.

He understood the meaning behind that simple, mundane word, the same meaning that was vaguely present in my response a few days ago: _he might be special._ Different from the other students, who were locked in the struggle to prove themselves better or more worthy than others, or so self-centered that they could barely see beyond their own desires. Asahina didn't care about those sorts of things. He simply wanted to be close to others, and once he got close enough, he unconsciously dug into their problems.

I wouldn't be surprised if half of his close friends had fallen for him, like I had. But young students like those wouldn't hide their affectionate words behind something as cowardly and easily misinterpreted as _you're special to me._ They wouldn't be weak and indecisive if Asahina clung to them, overflowing with insecurities. Instead, they'd return honesty for honesty.

"Asahina."

"Professor?"

"This won't end so easily." I paused, gathering my courage. "I told you, I love you."

"Oh..." Asahina's arms loosened, his embrace becoming gentle rather than demanding. "That's..."

"Shh." I simply held him for a minute, enjoying the feel of his body and the scent of his hair. Asahina fit neatly in my arms, slender but solid against my chest. His warmth was evident even through his heavy uniform, heat seeping through my clothing to warm my skin.

He'd waited for me, unable to leave, and in doing so, had erased my mistake. Again, I felt that I was the lucky one, and the one who was comforted rather than offering comfort.

"We'll go back to the school together."

That got him to release his grip, though his hands lingered on my arms as he looked up, eyes wide with surprise. "But you said..."

I shook my head. "Forget what I said. I was wrong. If anyone asks me about it, I'll say that you were going to take the bus and I offered you a ride back to the school."

He pursed his lips, considering it. "Well... it wouldn't be a lie."

"No more cowardly lies, Asahina." I pressed a kiss to those soft pink lips. "Only those that are absolutely necessary to protect you. That's a promise."

~ end ~


End file.
